The Slash Bringing Hasher
by GendryaCaesar
Summary: Mr. Krabs hires a new frycook, the same fish that SpongeBob and Squidward thought was the Hash Slinging Slasher. However, SpongeBob and Steve become friends and Squidward gets jealous, thinking that he has lost SpongeBob. Maybe Steve wasn't the Hash Slinging Slasher, but he was definitely the Slash Bringing Hasher. SquidBob slash, post Graveyard Shift.
1. Chapter 1

It had been several weeks since the Hash Slinging Slasher incident. There was another frycook working with them, the fish that SpongeBob and Squidward had thought was the Hash Slinging Slasher. Really his name was Steve, and he was friendly. Shy, yes, but after you got to know him he was pretty awesome.

There was just one problem. Squidward's words from that night kept echoing in his head. "I've always sort of liked you," Squidward had said. SpongeBob's heart swelled at the thought.

Squidward hated to admit it, but he was kind of jealous. Steve and SpongeBob had become quick friends, and it almost seemed like SpongeBob was ignoring Squidward. Whenever the two frycooks shared a laugh, or their fingers brushed when one was handing something to the other, Squidward's heart broke, though he was of course too stubborn to admit it to SpongeBob.

That was how he had realized he had feelings for the sponge. Strong feelings.

Squidward loved SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs, however, eventually noticed. "Squidward, I need to have a word with you in my office."

"Well that's quite a few words you just said," Squidward joked, and he laughed to himself.

Mr. Krabs sighed. "You'll get better at those jokes, lad." He held the door to his office open and closed it when Squidward went inside.

"So what's this about?" Squidward asked.

"You," Mr. Krabs said. "You've been sulking around here. All me payin' customers don't like it."

"How do you know?" Squidward questioned, crossing his arms. "Have you asked them lately?"

Mr. Krabs rolled his eyes. "I know you're _jealous_, Squidward."

"Jealous of who?"

"Please don't let this be another joke," Mr. Krabs muttered to himself.

"The idiot or the idiot?" Squidward finished, laughing.

Mr. Krabs glared at Squidward. "My point is," said Mr. Krabs, "you _like_ SpongeBob."

Squidward burst out laughing. "You're hilarious, Mr. Krabs," he gasped.

Mr. Krabs wasn't smiling.

"And…you're not joking…are you?" Squidward trailed off, his laughter having died down.

"I'm afraid not, Squidward."

"Okay, yes, fine, I have feelings for him," Squidward confessed.

"Knew it." Mr. Krabs grinned. "Go tell him, lad."

"What?!" Squidward spluttered. Tears filled Squidward's eyes. "You have to help me, Mr. Krabs."

"I tried to help you," Mr. Krabs pointed out. "You just don't like hearing what I have to say."

Squidward groaned. "What about Steve?"

"What _about_ Steve, lad?" asked Mr. Krabs.

"Well…they're like best friends or something," Squidward said.

"SpongeBob has told you repeatedly that you're his best friend," Mr. Krabs reminded him, narrowing his eyes, "and you just push him away. Maybe he finally got tired of it."

"Mr. Krabs," Squidward protested, but Mr. Krabs didn't respond, he just left Squidward alone in his office. Tears poured out of Squidward's eyes and he began to cry. _What have I done?_ he thought. _I was never there for SpongeBob, he still liked me even when I was all pissy, especially around him…what kind of a person am I?_

_Go apologize to him, you idiot_, a voice in his head instructed that sounded suspiciously like Mr. Krabs.

_Good idea_, Squidward agreed. He wiped his eyes and went to go find SpongeBob, who was busy cleaning the tables.

"Uh, SpongeBob?" Squidward asked, hoping it didn't look like he had been crying.

"Hey Squidward," SpongeBob said cheerfully.

"Look SpongeBob, I need to talk to you," Squidward told the sponge.

"Hey, SpongeBob!" Steve called from the doorway that led to the kitchen. "Come here, I just found an awesome way to flip the patties!"

Squidward snorted. "Maybe later, Steve, Squidward says he has to talk to me."

Squidward's heart melted. He looked around at all the eating customers and decided this wasn't the environment. "Can we go someplace more private?"

"Sure," SpongeBob agreed, "we can ask Mr. Krabs if we can use his office."

They did ask Mr. Krabs, who gladly agreed, and when he had left SpongeBob said, "So what is it Squidward?"

Squidward burst out crying.

"Squidward!" SpongeBob gasped, going over to his friend and wrapping an arm around him, patting his back soothingly. "Shhh, it's okay, everything's okay."

"No it's not," Squidward sobbed. "I've been so horrible to you, all these years, and you just don't care. I'm so sorry, SpongeBob. I don't want to lose you. Please don't choose Steve over me."

SpongeBob was, for once, speechless. "Oh, Squidward, is that was this is about?" SpongeBob wiped the tears out of Squidward's eyes. "I love you," he said, pure love shining in his eyes. "Steve and I are friends, but I love _you_, Squidward."

Squidward looked up, surprised. "Do you mean it?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever been kissed, SpongeBob?" Squidward asked next.

"No, why-" SpongeBob began, but was cut off by Squidward's lips. SpongeBob gasped into Squidward's mouth and kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Squidward's thin neck. They kissed deeply but passionately, like their lives depended on it. And that was how Mr. Krabs found them kissing, SpongeBob sitting on the desk and Squidward's hands on his waist, kissing each other like there was no tomorrow, and Mr. Krabs closed the door before anyone could see them.

When Squidward finally released their kiss he said, "I love you, SpongeBob." He wrapped his arms around SpongeBob in a loving embrace, and his new boyfriend sighed happily and wrapped his arms around Squidward's neck.

Maybe SpongeBob had been right the first time, maybe Steve really was the SlashBringing Hasher.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: This was originally going to be a oneshot, but I've decided that it will be a series of drabbles because I keep getting ideas and am too lazy to write an actual fic, so I'll keep updating. **

The supply closet in the back or the Krusty Krab where they kept all the ingredients was very dim, almost dark, but Squidward didn't care. His eyes were closed anyway, his lips plastered onto his boyfriend's. Their kisses now weren't soft and deep like their first-they were hot and hungry, but no less passionate.

"SpongeBob," Squidward gasped as SpongeBob stroked him. "Not...now...we should wait...we've only been together for two weeks..."

"But Squidward-" SpongeBob protested, but was interrupted by the door opening. The couple froze as they saw a furious Eugene Krabs standing in the doorway.

"SpongeBob! Squidward!" he yelled in a high voice. "What in Neptune's name are you barnacleheads doing? Steve may be a frycook but he doesn't know a thing about working at a cash register, and yer chasing away all of me money!"

"You mean your customers?" Squidward corrected him, rolling his eyes.

"I mean me money!" Mr. Krabs said. "Now get back to work!"

Squidward sighed as SpongeBob quickly fled the room. "Sorry, Mr. Krabs," Squidward apologized. "I just love him."

"I know, Mr. Squidward," Mr. Krabs reassured him. "Look, you two are a really sweet couple, but ye can't keep getting distracted."

"I try, Mr. Krabs," said Squidward, "but when I see him every day it's hard to resist."

"I know, lad. Just get back to work." Mr. Krabs turned off the light and went back into his office, and Squidward went back to the cash register. "Young love," Mr. Krabs sighed as he closed the door of his office, smiling to himself.


End file.
